“Drunk words are sober thoughts.”
Ever heard that one? I’m sure you have.
Ever fallen victim to that one? I hope you have.
For those of you that have never gotten highly intoxicated and started saying all kinds of crazy stuff, I’ll lay it out.
When we’re sober, we’re generally able to apply our “filters” to the things we say and do. We analyze our thoughts and make logical decisions as to how articulating these thoughts might impact others.
Throw alcohol into the mix and all of a sudden our “filters” start to get a little less stringent.
Throw more alcohol in, and before you know it the filter is crumbled up and thrown in the trash can. You’re now saying things you would never in a million years consider saying had you not been drinking.
If you claim to never partaking in an alcohol induced tirade at some point in your life, you’re either lying or you’ve never drank alcohol.
Either way, we can not be friends. And that stinks for you because I’m a happy drunk that likes to have fun.
Certainly I’m not the only one that’s asked to be “taken drunk because I’m home.”
Read that statement again when you’re drunk and it’ll make more sense. I promise.
This same concept of utilizing our filters applies to normal, every day communications we have with every single person we meet.
Follow me for a minute as I explain….
All conversations we have can be broken down into 2 categories. They’re either bilateral or unilateral.
A bilateral conversation is one with a “multi variable” purpose where we treat that person a certain way knowing we might want/need something from them in return at a future date.
Conversely, a unilateral conversation is one with a “single variable” purpose where aside from our immediate needs being met, we expect no future communication with them.
This might sound a little harsh, but we all do it without even realizing it’s happening.
The bottom line is we’re going to treat people differently based on whether or not we need something from them.
So sad, but so true.
It just so happens you can apply this same exact concept when trying to determine the true character of someone.
There’s a very simple test you can use that has NEVER served me wrong in correctly assessing someone’s “core” character traits.
This test involves paying VERY (and by very, I mean VERY) close attention to how someone interacts with 3 different groups:
- Police Officers.
One will show you how they act towards people in positions of authority, which normally is a good indicator of a persons overall level of respect (police officers).
The other will show you how they treat people that they need nothing from, other than providing an immediate service (waiters/waitresses).
And the last will show you how they treat people that are helpless and/or defenseless.
Now I understand that animals are not humans, but there’s much to be learned from how someone treats an animal.
Not to mention animals (especially dogs) are VERY good emotional detectives and can almost instantaneously detect a true jerk.
Yes, I said jerk.
If you’re able to witness these interactions first hand, you’ll learn everything you need to know about that person. Especially when they’re involved in a unilateral “single variable” purpose conversation.
Paying special attention to these types of communications will always reveal true character.
How do they talk to the Uber driver?
How polite are they to the cashier at the gas station?
Having dinner with someone and watching how they treat the wait staff is by far the most telling for me personally. Mainly because that shows me their true colors. Assuming I’m in deep conversation with them, their guard is going to be down and they’re going to treat that person with no filters.
It’s going to show me how they genuinely feel about people that can provide no reciprocating benefit to them.
So if you really want to get a good read on someone, just arrange a dinner date at a local restaurant with that person, a random police officer and a miniature chihuahua.
Oh, and have your Uber driver stop by the gas station on the way to dinner too.
This is 2020 after all…..nothing is abnormal.