For the better part of the last decade, I’ve been on a mission to discover what it is that makes some people irresistibly likable.
I know, it sounds so remedial.
Some people even accuse me of attempting to be “manipulative.”
This is crazy talk.
In order to be “manipulative” there needs to be ill intentions. I have none.
It became such an obsession that I finally decided to write a book about it. It was written entirely in crayon and the cover was designed in camouflage so no one could see it.
Ok, I’ll stop.
After spending years of closely studying the habits of just about every single person I came into contact with, I felt like I had the answers to likability. “The Emotional Marine” was born and I sincerely believed I had created the all-inclusive blue print for steps anyone could take to help deepen their relationships and instantly connect with strangers.
But further curiosity revealed a new (and even deeper) hypothesis that worked to only strengthen my findings.
In order to connect, two people must be vibrating on the same emotional frequency.
I refer to this as the “Rate of Emotional Vibration (REV).”
Before I explain REV as it relates to our interpersonal relationships, I think a brief explanation as to the concept of “Rate of Vibration” is in order.
Believe it or not, all things in our universe are constantly in motion (vibrating). This concept may be difficult to comprehend (especially for someone like me that’s not very smart), but every single thing we see with our eyes is vibrating at some level of frequency.
To put it simply, everything around us is just “energy.”
If you’ve never personally used the following phrases, you’ve most certainly heard them:
“Man, I could really feel his energy” or “I loved her vibe.”
If you’ve ever spoken these words about someone, you’ve most likely experienced a “synchronization of vibrations.”
Aka – Resonance.
Have you ever noticed how most happy people surround themselves with happy people?
Have you ever noticed how most miserable people surround themselves with miserable people?
Do you think that’s a coincidence?
They’re surrounding themselves with people that are on their same “vibrational frequency.”
Ok, ok. What’s my point?
I don’t really have a point.
Just kidding. Here’s my point.
In order to develop strong, long term relationships, we need to find those that are operating on our same “Rate of Emotional Vibration.”
I’ve added one word to the “Rate of Vibration” theory (emotional), but the same exact concept holds true.
The people that are vibrating on our “emotional frequency” are the ones we’re going to formulate the deepest bonds with.
Just as an objects vibration will increase when it’s subjected to other vibrations of equal or greater levels of frequency, so will our personal connections when we meet someone that we create an “emotional resonance” with.
Think about this in the context of someone playing an instrument.
Close your eyes and imagine 100 people playing a piano; all on different keys at the same time.
Now imagine those same 100 people hitting the same exact key, at the same exact moment.
How many people are you currently “vibrating” on the same “emotional frequency” with right now?
How many of your relationships have ended in heart break due to a lack of “Emotional Vibration?”
Or to go even deeper, how many relationships are you currently clinging on to right now where your levels of frequency are in totally different stratospheres?
When attempting to improve our current relationships and/or trying to develop new ones, it might be best to take a line from the Beach Boys – “I’m picking up good vibrations.”